How to write consistently boring scientific literature

How to write consistently boring scientific literature

Who would read this? Really?

The title says all about the content, and no one reads a narrative of doing something boring and silly. Yet one way to avoid ending up doing boring and silly stuff is to know what is boring and silly for others. An article by Kaj Sand-Jensen published online,in Ecology & Organismal Biology on 26 NOV 2007 [download link] discusses all about it. 

The author elaborates his findings in 10 points.

Avoid focus

Avoid originality and personality

Write l o n g contributions

Remove implications and speculations

Leave out illustrations  particularly good ones

Omit necessary steps of reasoning

Use many abbreviations and terms

Suppress humor and flowery language

Degrade biology to statistics

Quote numerous papers for trivial statement  Make sure that all written statements, even trivial ones, must be supported by one or more references